We brace ourselves for death. We know it is coming at some point. Whether it be our parent, sibling, friend, aunt, uncle, grandparent, or even ourself. We cannot avoid the decay of the human body. It will fail and disinigrate.
We brace ourselves for love. A painful act that every human will experience. Yes, painful. Because love implies self-denial, that there is another creature who you feel worthy of your service and sacrifice. We expect this in life, and once it is behoved to appear there is no way to avoid it.
We expect anger. A feeling that has been around since the beginning of the world. We are either angry at someone, something, or ourself. It's an overwhelming emotion at times and we brace ourselves for its arrival and wait until it leaves.
What we don't expect are the things we expect.
We don't expect that someone could love us. We feel small and worthless but we hold others so highly because we love them, but we never expect them to love us in return.
We don't brace ourselves for the death of someone we love. When they pass, we cannot comprehend it. They were not supposed to leave me, I was supposed to leave them. How dare they make me hurt so deeply? Because I am not good enough to live, they should have.
We don't expect the lack of anger when we fail the one we admire. We feel so completely undeserving of forgiveness and wish they would pour their wrath on our heads forever. And when they forgive us, it comes by surprise. I would forgive you a million times because I love you entirely and you deserve every inch of me, but for you to forgive me? How dare you waste a gift like that on this poor wretch.
The unexpected is just a beautiful as we are. We hold ourselves so low that we become the dust our lovers walk on. But the truth is they view us as one of the most extravagant people to breathe. As one of the most breath taking creatures to have a heart beat.
You are extravagant
You are breath-taking
You are beautiful
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