Time Heals All, So Does Jesus.

This is a new month, September. August, and the entire summer is behind me, and now facing me is this brand new month that holds oh so many bad memories of last year. Some may not notice, and I honestly don't think anyone does notice, but a year ago, I was an entirely different person. 

I was worn and fragile and lonely and completely broken. I had more anger in me than I had blood, and I cried more tears than I had smiles. I could not wake up in the morning without wanting to beat the absolutely crap out of a particular person. I could not wake up without remembering the enormous amount of pain I was in emotionally. I was so lonely. Yes, I had my family, and I am more than grateful for that. But, friends? No...not really. Not anyone who could understand the pain. The one who could was all the way in California. The friend I had, I only saw twice during the fall, and still, he couldn't understand the hurt that racked my body 24/7. The month before, my world absolutely fell apart. Someone who I thought I could count on to always be there, decided he didn't want to be there anymore. Someone else, who I had trusted and loved like a brother, betrayed me in the worst way. My world was turned upside down in the most wretched of ways, and I was in the arms of my hurting parents, who tried to pick me up and give me the needed stitches. 

But, alas, no one could stitch me up. All they could do was dry my tears and love me hard. All they could do was try to make me laugh and give me hugs. That's all anyone could do, really. No one could stick a needle in me and drain the anger from my boiling blood. No one could give me enough morphine to dull the pain. 

A year has passed since my world was upside down. I have learned a very valuable lesson the past 12 months, and that is that time does heal, and so does Jesus. If you could do the ultimate transformation Tuesday photo of my life, you would see an enormous difference in me. I've grown up a whole lot since last September, and I've most definitely healed. I don't wake up every day and think about killing someone (only once in a while), and instead of crying myself to sleep, I'm closing my eyes with a smile on my face. My heart, it still has plenty of cracks and pieces missing, but it's intact, and it's beating, and it's full of Jesus' love. I'm actually happy. I've learned too, that I can forgive, and that people are going to always hurt me, and that I can't lean on anyone except Christ. I'm not whole, I never will be, I don't think. I lost a few people very very special to me, who I probably will never see again. That hurts a whole lot. But you know what doesn't hurt anymore? The loneliness. I'm never lonely, because I have God. The sole being in this world that can completely understand me and comfort me. 

I laugh now, a lot. I smile every day, and I am contented. Sure, not everything is perfect again, but when I think about who I was in 2012-2013, and who I am now, I know that hurt can heal, and cuts can be stitched up. I know that even when it feels like God isn't listening to our cries, He is. I know that when our life seems like an absolute crap fest, it's not going to last forever, because God has blessings and beautiful plans in the works. 

God used that time in my life to mold me into who I am this September. I am very much excited to see what wonderful things this September holds. New adventures coming, and I'm ready for them. It won't hold a trip to a foreign country, but it will hold playing with a new puppy, working on my first ever college classes, learning new things about Jesus, and much more! 


I hope that whatever struggles and hurt you're dealing with now, will be gone next September. I hope that you find the healing powers of Christ and rest in the knowledge that He has a multitude of blessings waiting for you. I hope that new and exciting things come your way to ease the hurt and remind you of the goodness of God. 



Have a blessed week, I will see you next Tuesday!




Owl Be Hawkward