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Pain. No one feels yours. Sympathy? It's a lie. Pain cuts deeper than anything. Deeper than love or hate or anger. Pain kills us all slowly without our recognition. We feel it, always. The dull ache lingers all our life, when it is not a dull ache it is a bitter death that kills us when we are weakest. People, with their well-meaning sympathy, never understand your personal pain. Yes, some say they do, but try  as they might they can never know your killer. I explain it and describe it and no one feels it. Not one human, or any other creature for that matter, feels my pain. No one knows the death I swallow for them. Yes, for them. I would swim daily in my suffering, except you, you and every single person, need me to be normal. 

Normal is so utterly over-rated. 

I swallowed it all for you. 

After being in pain, with out a break, for so many hours, days, months...you would think I'd be happy to have it as a dull ache. Ache. My heart is in pain because my reason to be in pain is gone. It's all gone and it hurts me. Can't I just have it back? Why does every one look at the marks of my pain with pity? Why does every one want to take away my pain? I need it every second of every day. I need it here, I need it on my body. Can't you please give it to me? My pain isn't wrong, it's beautiful, it's apart of me.

You're beautiful just the way you are.

Then why have you taken away myself? It is the way I am, in pain is the way I am. Yet you keep taking it away from me and forcing the lie that I am beautiful without it down my throat. 

I am not without it. I do not exist. 

Let me be in pain. When I am in pain, I am  happy.

We all cling to our pain as if our world would slip away if we let go. We never live our life in complete honesty. If we did , you would see my pain all over me. We hide our pain because we're selfish. I am selfish. I do not want you to know my hurt.

You keep trying to know. 

It is my dearest secret. My closest friend.

I swallowed it for you. One day I shall reclaim my dear pain. 

For now, I shall resign to being your ever precious normal.