Skinny Fingers

     As my family has struggled a great deal in the past 6 months, my Dad implemented a new tradition, family prayer. Tuesday night, after my family had finished watching about 5 episodes of The Andy Griffith Show, we sat on the floor and prayed. 
      I've never been the person to close my eyes while we pray, I get too sleepy, (apparently it's a pastor's kid thing because all my siblings do it and several other pastor's kids I know.) As my father prayed I had my hands sprawled out on the floor. Just observing them while I listened. For the first time in all my life, I saw my fingers as skinny. 
      Ever since I was young, 7+, I always thought of myself as wide. Not fat, just huskier than everyone else. I didn't think it was bad, just a simple fact. I also always thought that my fingers were thick, and chubby. Not elegant and gentle, like a pianist's should be. I could never (still can't) get my finger nails to grow long so my hands look nice. But, for the first time that night, I thought my fingers were skinny. I saw them as skinny, and elegant. 

       I don't know if there is anything there, but I think that perspective is important. You can see the city as corrupting the land, ruining the environment, or we can see it as new beauty that is replacing the old. You can see your fingers as fat and stubby, or you can see them as skinny and useful. If you think everything in life is bad, you need a new perspective. Life isn't bad, life is good. 



As for the new look, I'm sorry for changing it again. I just didn't like the other one. It's my blog I can do what I want. Remember, owl be hawkward, so should you. ;)

7-2-2014

In the human life there are many unavoidable things. Things we expect and brace ourselves for because it is inevitable that at some point we shall face these things.

 

We brace ourselves for death. We know it is coming at some point. Whether it be our parent, sibling, friend, aunt, uncle, grandparent, or even ourself. We cannot avoid the decay of the human body. It will fail and disinigrate. 

We brace ourselves for love. A painful act that every human will experience. Yes, painful. Because love implies self-denial, that there is another creature who you feel worthy of your service and sacrifice. We expect this in life, and once it is behoved to appear there is no way to avoid it. 

We expect anger. A feeling that has been around since the beginning of the world. We are either angry at someone, something, or ourself. It's an overwhelming emotion at times and we brace ourselves for its arrival and wait until it leaves.

What we don't expect are the things we expect. 

We don't expect that someone could love us. We feel small and worthless but we hold others so highly because we love them, but we never expect them to love us in return. 

We don't brace ourselves for the death of someone we love. When they pass, we cannot comprehend it. They were not supposed to leave me, I was supposed to leave them. How dare they make me hurt so deeply? Because I am not good enough to live, they should have.

We don't expect the lack of anger when we fail the one we admire. We feel so completely undeserving of forgiveness and wish they would pour their wrath on our heads forever. And when they forgive us, it comes by surprise. I would forgive you a million times because I love you entirely and you deserve every inch of me, but for you to forgive me? How dare you waste a gift like that on this poor wretch. 

The unexpected is just a beautiful as we are. We hold ourselves so low that we become the dust our lovers walk on. But the truth is they view us as one of the most extravagant people to breathe. As one of the most breath taking creatures to have a heart beat. 

You are extravagant

You are breath-taking

You are beautiful 

  

Favorite Men of January

PHi! I'm going to do another list. 

Yeah. Another one. If you don't like it then don't read ;) I promise I will have something more fulfilling soon! But right now I'm in a sort of writer's block. Not story-wise, the imagination is running fabulously. Maybe I will share a story with you later! 

Here's a list of my favorite famous men of January. 

1) Andy Griffith. 

2) Paul Wesley (AKA Stephen Salvatore) 

3) Russel Wilson, AKA sleepy eyes (plays QB for the Seattle Seahawks) 

4) Val Kilmer (particularly his character in the western, Tombstone as Doc Holiday) 

5) Clint Eastwood 

Thanks for reading, I will have a story up soon! Remember, owl be hawkward, so should you. :) 

Favorite Things

Hello, blog readers! I have been absent the past few days, it feels like forever!! I just haven't made time to write. Life gets busy, and I am a girl who needs her sleep. I go to bed around 11, read till 12, and sleep to nearly 10. I'm busy all day so that leaves the night to write and as of late I have been extremely sleepy after struggling to stay awake to finish a chapter. To say the least, I am sleepy 96.4% of the time, the other 3.6% of the time I am sleeping. 

Having been quiet on the blog this past week I am determined to post tonight. A family-favorite in my house is the movie The Sound of Music. If you haven't seen this movie, you must. Not the poorly performed Carrie Underwood version, but the Julie Andrews version. Julie sings a song about her favorite things to the children to help them relax in the thunderstorm. I am inspired [;)] to write a list if my favorite things. 

Now I know I've been doing a lot of lists, but it is a good way to get to know me. So here is a list of a few of my favorite things.

1) ice cold water 

2) when my dad buys me a flower(s). It makes me feel loved. 

3) freshly shaved legs [guys don't quite understand this. They just feel so silky!]

4) gym clothes [particularly sweatpants and leggings]

5) being so sore that I can barely walk [what I will be in the morning, it was leg day]

6) making things for friends 

7) purses [what girl doesn't love purses?!?!]

8) finishing books 

9) sleeping with my cat on the end of the bed 

10) sleeping in until 1 p.m. [ I'm a teen, I am automatically supposed to do this] 

11) hot coffee

12) candles 

13) my cat [her name is Boo, she is big and all black] 

14) The Andy Griffith Show [ I just love his eyebrows! #mcm]

15) Scarves & Hats 

16) talking to animals in a silly voice 

17) long, hot showers [loooooooooong] 

18) making babies smile 

19) listening to music 

20) spending time with my family 

These are 20 of my favorite things! (Oh, and home made smoothies. I hate odd numbers). I will be back again soon with another post! Goodnight, everyone. And remember, owl be hawkward, so should you. ;)