Growing Up is Terrifying

Hi there. Here's a cup of coffee, there's also tea and iced water if you'd prefer. Let's talk about growing up.

       I am 17 years old, turning 18 in a few months (wow, crazy to think about actually), and I graduated high school this past May. I think you can agree with me when I say that this is the scariest time in a young person's life. Growing up has come to a pivotal point that is unavoidable. It's scary for a few reasons. The first one being that we are facing living on our own straight in the eyes. The second reason is that we have to think about the future. The third is that we have to make decisions about the rest of our life. Yeah, it's kind of super terrifying for you seniors and us graduates.
       I mean, we are going to be moving out of our parents house, and we have to start thinking about bills and money and actually paying for things. We have to do laundry on our own, we have to look at our tires ourselves to make sure they don't look low, we have to deal with small decisions without our Mom telling us what to do. Yes, we have a lot more freedom than we did before, but we also have a lot more responsibility.
      When we were young kids we didn't have to think about the future at all. The furthest ahead we thought was to the weekend, wondering if mom will let us have that sleepover. We didn't have to think about how we're going to have to buy a car and have a career to pay for that car. We didn't think about the fact that the college we choose could be a bad decision, we didn't think about how much college actually costs. But, before we know it, we are pushed  into the real world and forced to think ahead because if we don't we will end up living at home, working a part-time job, doing nothing productive or successful.

        We have to decide. For me, this is honestly the most terrifying thing of them all. We have to decide what college we're going to. Will I be able to afford it? Do they offer what I'm interested in? Is it too far from home? Too close? Is it a good environment to be in? Then, once you've decided what college you're going to, they force you to decide what degree you will pursue, which comes with it's own notebook filled with questions. Is this the career I want to be in? Is this career going to pay enough for me to actually survive on? Is this career pointless? You have to decide what car you want, you have to save money and prioritize. You have to ask yourself if this short trip with your best friend is worth it in the long run. You have to make sure that you aren't wasting time or money, but at the same time you don't want to hate your life and not have any fun.
      Life is so scary when you're fresh out of high school with a clouded view of how you want to live your life. I mean, 90% of high school seniors have no idea what they are going to do. 5% of us have a vague idea of what we want to do, but have no idea how we're going to do it, and the other 5% are those career oriented people that know exactly what they want to do, how they're going to do it, and have already done it. (If we're being honest, the 95% of us hate that 5% percent).
     
     So, all you seniors and fresh graduates like myself, take a deep breath and hold on. Everything I said before is 100% true, and 10,000% terrifying and stresssful. Before we all decide to blow our savings on a wild trip to Europe and forget about all the scary things, I have a bit of hope and maybe some advice (advice mostly for myself, from myself).
       The first bit of hope I have for you is this: God was, is, and always will be in control of everything. Before you get freaked out a feel like you have to deal with and plan everything on your own, stop. God has a plan, and has had a plan for the past eternity, for you and me and everyone else. Everything that happens is apart of His plan, and He is the ultimate Bearer of burdens and Guider of hearts.

Joshua 1:9 - Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Proverbs 16:9 - A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.

Psalms 115:3 - But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.

      The next word of hope I have for you is this: God loves you, His mercy is great, and His grace is abundant and overflowing. Even if you make a wrong decision and things don't turn out how you wanted them to, or you end up suffering consequences from that decision, don't forget that God still loves you. He doesn't expect perfection from His children, all He wants is our trust and humility. 

Lamentations 3:21-23 - This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Jeremiah 31:3 - The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

       Now, I have some advice for you. 

      Don't worry. It doesn't do us any good to constantly worry about the future. Now, it doesn't do us good to be foolish and never think about the future, but instead of worrying, pray. Pray for guidance and grace and strength and wisdom. Tell God how you feel, and ask Him to show you what to do. In time, He will. 

      Don't try to plan too far ahead. With a thought on the future, take it one day, week, and month at a time. It's silly to plan far ahead because we never know what's going to happen. Everything can change in a split second and you may not even want to do what you thought you did. Trust God to take care of the future, and you think about the things you need to do tomorrow. Of course, don't be foolish and not save money or be wasteful with your time, but at the same time, don't let stressing over college and your career overtake you. Does that make sense? 

Life is scary guys, but it's all going to be okay, It's a crazy, mixed up and unplanned adventure that brings so many wonderful, hard, and exciting things. Make sure you enjoy it, don't take it too seriously, and trust that God has an amazing and flawless plan for your life. 

As always, have a great day, and an even greater cup of coffee! 

San Diego Adventures

Beach Selfie

 The water was really cold

 Venice Beach was beautiful!

 Rides at the Del Mar County Fair

 The signature pose for the San Diego trip

 Beautiful view from the Santa Monica Pier

 My best friend filling out the form so she can sky diving!

 My friend Tah being strong and what not

 My SD Squad and our Starbucks in Downtown Disney

 The full squad at an amazing burger joint that I can't recall the name of at the moment

 SD Squad waiting in line at the Del Mar County Fair!

 Two of the best friends in the world!

 This was our first trip to the beach and we just stood in the water.

 My bros eating turkey legs at the fair

I hope you enjoyed a look at my summer adventure! More adventures will be happening, hopefully soon! I will also be taking you along with me on a 7 week road trip in October & November, which I'm super excited for. See you on Tuesday!

Thankful // New People, Adventure, and Hildagaard

Life gets busy and sometimes we get stressed out. We are occupied with 300 different things going on during the day, and then we are thinking about what we have to do tomorrow. We think about class assignments, goals that need to be reached, work that needs to be done, and we hustle. Hustling is good, making good grades is good, reaching goals is awesome! However, I think it's good that we take a few minutes every now and then and just reflect on the things that we're grateful for. On this sleepy morning, I'd just like to share with you a few of the things I am thankful for.

New People

Meeting new people could be good, or it could be bad. Sometimes, you just click with someone and for some reason, being around them is a really good thing. I'm thankful for the new people I've met. 

Adventures

I don't know who doesn't love a good adventure, I know I do. An escape from the monotonous daily routines, leaving worries behind, seeing something new. If not new, something beautifully familiar. I'm thankful for being able to go on adventures and see new things. Take an adventure once in a while, go somewhere you have never been before. It's good for your heart. 

Books

Yes, I am indeed thankful for books. Though I haven't been reading as often this past year, I have recently started the Harry Potter Series and The Tales of Sherlock Holmes. I forgot how good reading is for the imagination. When life is not permissible of adventure, it surely can't stop you from reading a good book. Reading comes close to taking an adventure. I'm thankful for the vivid descriptions that take me away for a little while. 

A Healthy Body

I think a majority of us take this for granted all too often. I think we take for granted the fact that we're breathing, that we can walk, and that a lot of us are in good health. I try to remember how blessed I am, how gracious the Lord is to allow me to daily get in the gym and work hard. A lot of people don't have that ability, but I do. Don't take for granted your moving legs and your beating heart! In a moment they could be taken. Enjoy them with everything you do, and treat your body with love and respect. 

Hildagaard

Everyday when I get home, my little dog is there. She get's so excited that she can barely contain it. I sit on the floor and she gives me kisses and I rub her belly and we just tell each other about our day and how much we missed each other. It's one of the most lovely things about coming home at the end of the day. When I suggest a walk she gets excited all over again. She jumps out of the car and runs like a wild stallion and we run together, sometimes we walk. She chases butterflies and then when the walk is over and we're both hot and out of breath, we get in the car and she hangs her head out of the window and we drive home. I'm thankful for my little booger. 

Those are a few things I'm particularly grateful today. What are you thankful for? As always, have a great day, and an even greater cup of coffee! 

Project Work-Out: Personal Records

I have my cup of coffee and my music, and I'm thinking about the gym. Just thinking about how much I've evolved and progressed in my training style and physically as well. My strength has increased a great deal and muscle definition is a lot better! It's such an awesome process to get where you want to be. It's challenging and at times tasteless. It is something that doesn't really end, there is always an improvement to be made somewhere!

Two weeks ago, I did something that 3 months ago I wouldn't have thought possible. I believed it was possible eventually, but somewhere in my mind there was always a doubt. Not me, I could never lift that! I'm not athletic, I'm not strong either. Of course other people can do it, but not me. Not Kaydee.

I did, though. I hit the PR that I doubted was possible. 

I had decided with my gym partner to do dead lifts that Friday. I was pretty much just aiming to hit my last PR for more reps. I warmed up with a low weight and just continued adding weight. I hit 175 (my last PR), and felt awesome, so I went for 185 and hit that too for as many reps as I could manage. At this point, I felt like nothing could stop me. I'm only 5'5" and roughly 125 pounds, but I felt like a freaking animal. I added another 10 pounds to the bar and went for 195. If I got this, I was going to be ecstatic.

The last time I maxed out was in March. I hit 165. A few months prior I was unable to pick up 155 after a lot of trying and mental prep talks. That was a disappointing but motivating day. I had failed, but I wasn't finished trying.

(Trying to get 155 in the spring)

Here it was, time to pick up 195 pounds of dead weight. The only music playing was a chill rock song escaping the gym speakers. My gym partner was holding my phone to capture this new record on film, and encouraging me from the side.

It was me and that weight. I wrapped my chalky fingers around the bar and tensed for the pick up. I pulled it up more easily than I expected. 1...2...3..4... I counted reps in my head, letting each one hit the mat and come back up. I dropped it after the 4th rep and stepped back. 

I did it. I hit 195. Not for one, not for two, but for 4 reps! INSANITY!

I thought I was done. I was okay with being done, I hit a new record and that was enough. 

"You're not going to go up in weight?" my gym bro asked.

"Should I?!"

"Why not? You're on a roll!"

What would I do without a gym partner to push me to the next level? 

We added a little baby 5 pound plate to each end of the bar. I asked Josh to record again since this would be a newer record, (if I even reach it, I still doubted myself). 

I rubbed a little more chalk on my hands and tightened the belt around my waist. 

Here we go. It's just me and the weight. I got this. I can do it. Just one rep, that's all I need. 

I gripped the bar and looked up. I bent my knees and began to pull. It came off the ground, so I couldn't give up now. I straightened my back and then dropped the weight back to the ground.  

I HIT 205 POUNDS. 

Video of record here 

It was an amazing feeling to pick up that much weight. To know that my doubt had been wrong, to be that strong. I walked away from the gym that day knowing that anything is possible.


When you close the browser window after reading this, there are two things I want you to know. Whether it's in the gym or in some other aspect of your life, conquering fears or strongholds, whatever it may be, I want you to remember that anything is possible. Anything is possible through Christ, and that is true in any aspect of life--spiritually, mentally, and physically. The second thing I want you to remember is that it's all through the grace of God. Whatever you accomplish in life, it wouldn't have been possible without God's grace and love toward you.
      Yes, it was my body physically that picked up the weight. But it was God who created my body, my muscles. It was God who gave me the love for weight lifting, it was Him that gave me a healthy body, Him that kept me safe from injury. By His grace and love, I was able to make a new personal record.

Remember that whatever you do, it was done because of God's abundant grace and never ending love. Let us give Him the glory for the things He does through us. If it's making a new personal record in the gym, getting promoted at work, or leading a soul to Him, glorify and thank Him always!

Thanks for reading! Have a great day and even greater cup of coffee! 

(or whatever your favorite beverage happens to be)

Coffee With Christ // Psalms 93

The Lord reigneth, he is clothed with majesty; the Lord is clothed with strength, wherewith he hath girded himself: the world also is stablished, that it cannot be moved.

Thy throne is established of old: thou art from everlasting.

The floods have lifted up, O Lord, the floods have lifted up their voice; the floods lift up their waves.

The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, yea, than the mighty waves of the sea.

Thy testimonies are very sure: holiness becometh thine house, O Lord, for ever.

Psalms 93

I know that the One Who is clothed with strength, with might greater than no other, is also the One Who holds me together. In times of uncertainty, sadness, and apathy, I know that the One clothed with majesty is also the One who orchestrates the details of my life. When I am lonely, the One who sits on the throne established of old is my friend. The One who is from everlasting with the surest of promises, He is my friend and my hope and my help and my peace.


Let me know what scripture encourages you in the comments below! 

I'll see you Thursday and have a great day, with an even greater cup of coffee!

Favorites: Tweet Edition

¨Oh my gosh, Starbucks and Twitter are literally my life.¨ *White Teenage Girl Voice*

Okay, maybe twitter isn't my life, but I do love twitter. I tweet multiple times a day (I just hit over 5,000 tweets since March of 2013), and I scroll through it every morning when I wake up. For this month's favorites post I decided to compile a few of my favorite favorites! I just chose the tweets that made me laugh and represent my life the best. 

So let's grab a cup of our favorite brew (ha, see what I did there?) and read some funny tweets! 

@tbhjuststop 

fun drinking game:

take a shot of water every couple of hours to make sure ur healthy and hydrated 

@FemaleTexts

every girl's weekness 

I love this one because it gives off the vibe of some cute relationship and suddenly BAM a sticky hand. Good job for making me laugh. 

@WhitePplQuote

¨...with a side of ranch¨

This. Is. So. Me. 

I love ranch so much and this tweet describes my life and daily cravings. 

@SincerelyTumblr

Sia was here

Because I've been listening to Sia's music constantly and this particular song multiple times a day.

@JonahGreen 

*LA party boy walks into lamp store*

Duuuuuuude this place is LIT!!!

I don't know why, but this was hilarious. Oh my goodness.

@WowSoPunny

DEAD. *three laughing crying emojis* (***Disclaimer the *laughing crying emojis* is not part of the original tweet, the original tweet is 3 literal laughing emojis)

I don't know why, but I can hear it being said in my head and it's just perfect. Oh, Rick. 

@alexalosey

the amount of instagram followers you have does not increase your happiness or worth as a human. get off your phone and go live your life.

So much good truth spoken in less than 140 characters. Don't let how you view yourself as a person be determined by how many likes or followers you have!

@TheSassyGoats

GOAT UP!

This tweet is because I found this twitter account completely dedicated to goats. From there it all went down hill and I haven't been able to stop loving goats. Such an adorable little animal and this twitter page makes me happy!

Thanks for reading guys, I hope you enjoyed and got a laugh from these! Be sure to follow me on Twitter (maybe I'll make you laugh? I don't know, just follow me), you can find all my socials to the right sidebar. Are any of these tweets your new favorites? Are you on Twitter? Let me know in the comments below your username and I will follow you!

As always, have a great day, and an even greater cup of coffee! 

***None of the tweets in this post belong to me. They belong to the usernames attached to them and I take no credit whatsoever

Twenty-Three, June

I didn't know that when I went to Germany, I would love it there so much. But I sat in German class this year learning and missing, because I know somehow I'm supposed to go back. If someone said to me, "Kaydee, if you give up weight lifting, your home, your college education, I will send you to Germany to live." I would say yes in no time. I have a lot of dreams, some that I care less about and some that will come true. Moving to Germany is one of the 'come true' dreams.

I never shared much about my trip to Germany. Maybe because there was too much to it that couldn't be expressed by words. I only put pictures from the first week up on my Facebook. I can't say why I didn't put any more up, or why I didn't write more about it. Maybe because I wanted to make sure I could fully describe the wonderfulness of it all.

Castles and rolling hills, blanketed in fields of grass and covered in trees. Signs in a language I knew of but didn't speak, exhaustion and excitement fighting with each other. Shyness and bashful greetings to the people I had never met. Hugs to the people I'd been dying to see. The overwhelming feeling of a dream come true. That's what the first moments in Germany were like.

I was on the other side of the world, standing in Germany, something I had never dreamed possible. 

I tried to take in everything I possibly could. I tried to absorb it so it would stay in my memory. Memories fade, unfortunately. No matter how many times we look through pictures, or close our eyes to bring back the feeling that was there, memories fade.

Berlin, Munich, Stuttgart, Ulm. Each one captivating, unique, and beautiful . Whispering stories of past days, their old walls still rise around them, protecting from the dissipated threats of attack. Canals flowing through the city reflect the beautiful blooming trees. Beauty and sour history cover the towns. Repression and imprisonment still an unforgettable characteristic of an unforgettable time. However, joyful celebrations in victory against the world in a rousing game of Foosball echo throughout the country. Flags are hung on houses and horns are blown. Beautiful displays of fire are shot into the sky, proclaiming that Germany is indeed the 2014 World Cup Champion. Crowded and fast moving subways bring me to brilliant new destinations, (whilst occasionally getting lost in the largeness of Berlin). My mind is overwhelmed. My heart is full.

Adventuring is my favorite. Seeing things I've never seen before and being in places I've never been before,it makes me happy.

I remember reading every sign I saw, trying to learn German. I remember straining to decipher the complicated words. I also remember getting frustrated when the boys would purposely speak in German so that I wouldn't know what they said.

Oh, the rain! How I miss the rain so very much. The clouds, the cool air, the drizzle. People always think of rain in a negative connotation, but it is a safe haven. An excuse to grab a blanket and snooze by the window as the drops race each other to the bottom of the glass. Or an excuse to run haphazardly through Berlin, soaking your only pair of shoes and ruining your make-up. An excuse to have a messy time and create some memories filled with abundant laughter. Taking long walks through the grassy hills, feeling so unbelievably content even though I was shivering. The rain is absolutely lovely in Germany (surely not to the Germans though). I miss that very much.

Thunder and lightening and rain. Waking up to it nearly every morning and falling asleep to it nearly every night. 

I am so homesick thinking about all of the wonderful times in Germany. The beauty, the escape from reality, the magic. Sure, not literal magic, but walking through a castle with antique art and creaking wooden floors, you feel as though you are a literal princess. All the games I played as a little girl, with blankets draped around me as capes and petticoats, they flooded back into my heart as it came to life with an actual castle. I kept waiting for a knight to come dashing by, or hear the faint music of the king's ball. Maybe that sounds childish, but we all love a little fantasy.

"Wiener schnitzel mit pommes frites", I would order at nearly every restaurant because it was my favorite meal. I never held back, something I only regretted slightly. I crave the delicious spezi and Italian eis. The savory food that is not found anywhere else makes my mouth water. Food is an important aspect of life and German food is of such satisfying flavor. Especially the chocolate. Oh, I could eat the chocolate for days! I did. I would consume bars of milk chocolate in one day even when I tried to  make it last. Milky and soft, with hazelnuts and caramel laced through them, each bite melting on your tongue and filling your mouth with fantastical chocolatey goodness

Truly irresistible was the chocolate. I want some now. 

A year ago, I was in Germany, so happy, so relieved. I never worried about anything while I was there. Of course, when I got home I had a lot to think about about. It was back to reality. So much has changed in my heart and life since the day I took off. My music taste, my hair, my muscles, my view on life, my maturity, my goals. One thing hasn't changed, and that is that I love the country of Germany.
     My heart aches to be taking off again, not because I don't want to be here, simply because there is so much to see out there. So much of Germany I've yet to see, so much of Europe I've yet to see. Germany changed my heart and opened up this love for travel that I only dreamed of. So many adventures await me, and I am eager to experience them.

Deutschland was the first of many, many wonderful, life changing adventures. Although I imagine blowing my savings and running off to Germany again, I know I must wait. Until then I shall sit here and reminisce over the many hundreds of pictures I have and the many memories in my heart. 










 *all photographs used in this post belong to me, please do not use without permission