Coffee with Christ

I made my cup of coffee sprinkled with pumpkin spice seasoning and sat at my little glass desk to open up my Bible and read God's Word. I have been in the process of reading the Bible through by the end of the year, and today I started 1 Samuel. 

Growing up, I heard this story a hundred times, and reading it in chapter one of 1 Samuel was like going back to the little girl in junior church sitting on my coat on the cold fall Sunday morning, listening to the teacher tell this amazing story. At that age, I didn't fully appreciate or understand the wonderful characters God so skillfully created, nor the story of sacrifice God has laid as an example for all of us thousands of years later. If your unfamiliar with the story of 1 Samuel chapter one, I will give you a brief summary of this amazing story. But, you should go get your Bible (and if you don't have one go online to YouVersion and find it), and read it for yourself because it is beyond amazing.


There was a man in the land of  Ephraim whose name was Elkanah, and he had two wives. One of his wives was named Peninnah, and she had a lot of children. His other wife was named Hannah, and she was unable to have any children. As you can imagine, there was conflict between the two wives, and Penninah was pretty nasty to Hannah. She would make fun of her because she had no children, and she would degrade her as a woman. Hannah would weep because of her lack of children, but her husband did not understand her. See, Elkanah loved Hannah more than he loved Penninah, and thought that he was enough for her. If you're a woman (and even I, only 16, understand this), you know the deep longing for children in our hearts. 

One day, out of her deep sorrow, Hannah went to the temple to pray. She prayed earnestly and begged God for a child. The priest, (who at first thought she was drunk), told her to go her way, that her petition will be granted. Not long after, Hannah was pregnant. God had answered her prayers. She told her husband that she must take her son back to the temple and give him to God when he was weaned, so that he may serve the Lord. 


That last part is what stopped me in my tracks and made me write. 

Hannah, a woman of God, a woman who begged the Lord for a child day in and day out, got her prayers answered. She finally, finally had a son. What did she do?  She gave him right back to God at a very young age. She gave him to the priest, to serve in the temple. Can you imagine that? Take a minute to really, truly think about that. The child she had waited so long for, whom she loved so deeply. She gave him up to God, only able to see him once a year. She sacrificed her only desire, because she loved God. 


Oh, that you and I would be so willing to give up the things we love to our Savior. Oh that we wouldn't even give them a second thought, because we love the Lord so much more. Things we harbor deep in our hearts, the desires we have held on to and prayed would come to pass. The dreams we dream, the things we want for the future. Just immediately give them to God, because everything is His! He gave us Hannah to set an example of the sacrificial attitude we must have in order to follow God completely. Hannah, a little sneak peak of the great sacrifice God made so that we would know His love. 

I pray that I am able to sacrifice what I love just as Hannah did, and I pray that for you as well. We hold on to our desires, but until we give them to God, we will not be satisfied. 

And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord.For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.”

 And he worshiped the Lord there.

1 Samuel 1: 26-28

Interview: Victoria Hammel

For a while now I have wanted to do an interview post, and finally I have had the chance! I asked my friend Victoria (Check out her blog here) if she would do an interview with me, and she said yes! We met via twitter (I have a multitude of internet friends whom I've never met) through a mutual friend. Turns out, she's really amazing and we have a lot in common! I took yesterday to ask her some questions about herself, and writing. So, here it is! I hope you enjoy getting to know Victoria as much as I did.

Kaydee:
Hey Victoria! Welcome to the first ever Owl Be Hawkward interview! I'm so excited to have you do this for the blog. I'm just going to ask a few questions about you, and then we'll get to some blogger/writer questions! We'll start with the basics. How old are you, where do you go to school?

Victoria: 
I'm so excited to 

be a part of this! I'm eighteen years old and I'm currently attending Angelina Community College in Lufkin, Texas. 

Kaydee: 
Do you plan on staying there, or transferring somewhere else? What do you want to major in, and why? 

Victoria: 
I plan on finishing my basics at ACC and then transferring to the University of North Texas Denton, or Yeshiva University in Manhattan. I'm currently planing on majoring in Philosophy and Communication/Communication Design. I've always been interested in the world views of others and how the aesthetics of design affect a persons subjective perceptions

Kaydee: 
What is your passion in life? What do you believe you were put on earth for? 

Victoria: 
Those are really good questions! My passion in life is to live and not just exist. Everyone exists but not everyone lives. I guess I could say that is the reason I was put on this earth. I'm here to continue living life and experience as many other cultures as I can and maybe just maybe effect someones life for the better in even the smallest of ways.   

Kaydee: 
I love that answer! Okay, two more questions about you. What is your favorite blog and YouTube channel, and what if you're favorite thing to watch on Netflix? 

Victoria:
I really love bleubirdblog  and I've been following her for quite sometime. She has an awesome sense of style and just gives off some pretty rad vibes.  As for YouTube there are far to many to possibly pick one! Whenever I have the time I binge watch Gossip Girl but I'm only a few episodes into the second season.   

I'll have to check them out!

Kaydee: 
Now on to writing/blogging questions. You're the author of the blog birdieoiseau. What made you decide to start a blog? Where did you come up with the name?

Victoria: 
Its actually a relatively boring story believe it or not. In February of 2013 I had a pretty wicked case of the flu and was bed ridden for quite sometime. So, durning my heavily medicated state I decided I was going to start a blog! How I actually managed to properly set it up while ill still baffles me but I somehow did it. My friend once told be I looked like a baby bird so I started translating "bird" into several different languages and ended up really liking "Oiseau" which is 'bird' in French. After much deliberation and playing around with a few other words I settled on 'birdieoiseau' because it just flowed so well together!  


Kaydee: 
I'm so glad to finally know! I've been wondering ever since I read it! What reason do you write? 

Victoria:
I write mainly for myself.

Kaydee: 
You once asked me for suggestions for an essay you wrote about "bloggers being a force to reckon with", what impact do you think bloggers have and what ways do you want to impact the world being a blogger yourself?

Victoria: 
I had forgotten about that essay so thanks for reminding me! I think bloggers have an impact by just sharing their thoughts and experiences. I watched a YouTube video once where a blogger was addressing her anxiety issues and it really helped me with my own personal struggles with anxiety. Words have a certain magical quality to them that I believe bloggers really tap into and bring people together as well as make them make them feel less alone. Blogs (for the most part) are safe places for readers and writers alike.


Kaydee: 
What do you think about being positive? Do you think that the world is too negative? 

Veronica: 
Positivity is such a simple and essential factor to life but at the same time being positive can be extremely hard when negativity has certain a way to pull you down when you least expect it. I don't think the world is too negative however I do believe the world puts a greater emphasis on the negative than it does the positive. 


Kaydee: 
How do you stay positive during the negative times in life?

Victoria: 
You just have to make the conscious decision to look past the negative, whatever it may be. You have to realize that you hold the power within yourself to live a positive life. No one can force you to stay positive, you have to force yourself. 


Kaydee: 
That was the last question. Thank you so much for your time! I look forward to more collabs with you, and I can't wait to see where you go in life! You've definitely been an encouragement to me in blogging, and an influence! Thank you so so much!


Victoria: 
That means so much to me! Thanks for having me I absolutely loved it!


That's all guys, I'll talk to you later! Why is my computer doing this? Oh well! Sorry for missing last week. It wasn't a very good week, but this week is better! 

Time Heals All, So Does Jesus.

This is a new month, September. August, and the entire summer is behind me, and now facing me is this brand new month that holds oh so many bad memories of last year. Some may not notice, and I honestly don't think anyone does notice, but a year ago, I was an entirely different person. 

I was worn and fragile and lonely and completely broken. I had more anger in me than I had blood, and I cried more tears than I had smiles. I could not wake up in the morning without wanting to beat the absolutely crap out of a particular person. I could not wake up without remembering the enormous amount of pain I was in emotionally. I was so lonely. Yes, I had my family, and I am more than grateful for that. But, friends? No...not really. Not anyone who could understand the pain. The one who could was all the way in California. The friend I had, I only saw twice during the fall, and still, he couldn't understand the hurt that racked my body 24/7. The month before, my world absolutely fell apart. Someone who I thought I could count on to always be there, decided he didn't want to be there anymore. Someone else, who I had trusted and loved like a brother, betrayed me in the worst way. My world was turned upside down in the most wretched of ways, and I was in the arms of my hurting parents, who tried to pick me up and give me the needed stitches. 

But, alas, no one could stitch me up. All they could do was dry my tears and love me hard. All they could do was try to make me laugh and give me hugs. That's all anyone could do, really. No one could stick a needle in me and drain the anger from my boiling blood. No one could give me enough morphine to dull the pain. 

A year has passed since my world was upside down. I have learned a very valuable lesson the past 12 months, and that is that time does heal, and so does Jesus. If you could do the ultimate transformation Tuesday photo of my life, you would see an enormous difference in me. I've grown up a whole lot since last September, and I've most definitely healed. I don't wake up every day and think about killing someone (only once in a while), and instead of crying myself to sleep, I'm closing my eyes with a smile on my face. My heart, it still has plenty of cracks and pieces missing, but it's intact, and it's beating, and it's full of Jesus' love. I'm actually happy. I've learned too, that I can forgive, and that people are going to always hurt me, and that I can't lean on anyone except Christ. I'm not whole, I never will be, I don't think. I lost a few people very very special to me, who I probably will never see again. That hurts a whole lot. But you know what doesn't hurt anymore? The loneliness. I'm never lonely, because I have God. The sole being in this world that can completely understand me and comfort me. 

I laugh now, a lot. I smile every day, and I am contented. Sure, not everything is perfect again, but when I think about who I was in 2012-2013, and who I am now, I know that hurt can heal, and cuts can be stitched up. I know that even when it feels like God isn't listening to our cries, He is. I know that when our life seems like an absolute crap fest, it's not going to last forever, because God has blessings and beautiful plans in the works. 

God used that time in my life to mold me into who I am this September. I am very much excited to see what wonderful things this September holds. New adventures coming, and I'm ready for them. It won't hold a trip to a foreign country, but it will hold playing with a new puppy, working on my first ever college classes, learning new things about Jesus, and much more! 


I hope that whatever struggles and hurt you're dealing with now, will be gone next September. I hope that you find the healing powers of Christ and rest in the knowledge that He has a multitude of blessings waiting for you. I hope that new and exciting things come your way to ease the hurt and remind you of the goodness of God. 



Have a blessed week, I will see you next Tuesday!




Owl Be Hawkward