I didn't want to be gone as long as I have been. I decided to come back about two weeks ago, but life has been extremely busy but so blessed!
When I left, I left with a heavy heart. I had a big mountain that I needed to begin climbing, and I had to prepare myself and give it all I have. While I am still trekking up this mountain with miles to go before I reach the peak, I have enjoyed my hike. Yes, my heart is still heavy at times and the struggle is not over, but I have hope. I know that my God is not waiting for me at the top of this mountain, but is hiking along right beside me. He is continuously refilling my water canteen and handing me nutrition bars, starting the night fire and knowing exactly when I need to rest.
When I left, I looked at my mountain with determination and a deep desire to make it to the top. A desire that still burns in me and determination that has not faded. But while I looked at how high up my peak was, I felt intimidated. Could I really truly make it to the top? Would I start climbing only to fall right back down into the valley? Of course I could not make it to the top on my own, and though the top is still far up, I have made it higher every day with the guidance and strength of God. Yes, I have stumbled and tripped over rocks and roots that stick in front of my narrow and difficult path, but the difference is that I did not allow myself to roll all the way back down. I asked my God to pick me back up and continued on my trail.
If I viewed my mountain the first day that I left here and did not see it through my Father's eyes, I would have never begun the climb. I would have willingly stayed in my valley because I knew the mountain was too high. However, the eyes of my Father have given me a blessed hope and assurance of victory and completion of this journey. This is not the last mountain I will have to climb, for the range is so vast! However I know that as I trek up to each peak, I do not trek alone but with a faithful and experienced Guide. He knows what every mountain I face holds and what things I need to have in my backpack in order to be successful. I am oh so thankful that I am not attempting to climb my first Mount Everest without my God!
I have been on this journey for 49 days, and I will be on it for many more days, but they are days that I cherish because with each one I grow closer to my Guide and closer to the top.
While on my journey, and learning to view the path through God's eyes, I have been greatly blessed. I ache for you to know how good God is as you are on your own journey. Every day I am beginning to see how He is working in my life while we hike this path together. I am sure that He has been working just as much and just as greatly before I took my journey, but now He is allowing me to see how and in what areas. I'll share with you just a few.
I started my first semester of physical college classes this year, Never have I ever been to school in my life, and it was an interesting experience. Not only was it my first time actually being in classroom with people other than my siblings, I was going full time with 12 hours on my plate. God has blessed me greatly in that I am making good grades and He has truly allowed me to enjoy this experience. Of course, almost every day I am so tired and rundown and sometimes I have had a lot of homework, but every day I have been blessed so greatly. To you it may not seem like a big deal, or like anything important, but it has filled my heart with peace and joy knowing that this is what God wanted me to do right now.
All semester I had been thinking about a job, I applied at a couple places but nothing came up. It was emotionally draining because I had my hopes high for a job, only to be crushed when it didn't work out. Sometimes the lack of money stressed me out, especially when I thought about the future and how I badly needed to begin saving for when I moved onto a college campus. This past week, I decided that after the semester ended I would apply one more time and the place my brother used to work because I knew I would most likely get it with his recommendation. A much better job came up with someone I knew very well and God opened the doors widely and asked me to joyfully walk through them. He knew what I needed for work and He had already had this plan in mind, knowing it was exactly the job for me. How good my God is to plan every detail of my life out for me! I only have to trust in Him!
I am so overwhelmingly thankful to my God for blessing me abundantly even when I haven't always been so thankful. His grace upon my life is so evident, and I am unworthy of His blessings. Yet He continually pours them upon me and guides my life flawlessly.
Today, you may be in the valley where I began climbing out of 50 days ago, you may be hiking up your own mountain, or you may have just reached the peak. Wherever you are at dear friend, know that our Sovereign God is in control, He has not left you alone to struggle but is urging you to take His hand and climb. If you are where I am or higher on the mountain, take a moment to thank God for His blessings and work in your life. Know that He is the one to bring you out of the valley on to the peak of the mountain. Continue to lean on Him as you climb, and let His love, grace, and strength consume your heart.
I called upon thy name, O Lord, out of the low dungeon. Thou hast heard my voice: hide not thine ear at my breathing, at my cry. Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidst, "Fear not". O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life. Lamentations 3:55-58
