I am nothing

My heart weighs a ton right now. I am just full of stress, and finding out everyday that life isn't what you expect. I have thought all week on what to post. I started several times and nothing came about that was satisfactory. That really makes me unhappy because I'm supposed to write here every day, and I'm sorry. 

My heart is just filled with different kinds of burdens this week. I started really handing them over to God and it feels as though Satan keeps piling them on with every day. Those feels always deceive me. 

My heart is being pulled different directions all day and I wonder what I am supposed to do in the next few months. I wonder if I should do this or do that or if what I am doing right now is God's will. My heart says I need to do this, then it says I need to do that. So many questions and uncertainties and exciting yet scary new things. 

I am just discovering daily that I literally don't know how to live my life, and I don't know how other people manage without going to God. I don't know how to act or what to say, where to go or what career path I should take. Every day I learn that without God my life would be filled with terror and so much more stress and anger and sadness. Even the little things like going for a run and having some old disgusting guys roll down their window and call out to me, I would be 7 million times more scared of them and have absolutely no peace of my safety. Even though I sprinted a quarter of a mile  to be far from them (they turned the opposite direction anyway) and my heart was racing and tears came to my eyes, I know God had me in His hands and was angrier than I was that someone could be so disgusting and degrading to me. 

Without Christ I am totally and completely nothing. Yes, I may walk and talk and breath. My heart may pump blood and my brain may send signals to my nerves, I may learn and my hair grows, but I am not alive without Christ. I can't live without Him. 

'The thief cometh not, but for to steal and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.' John 10:10 

'Jeus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.' John 11:25

'I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live: yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.' Galatians 2:20