thoughts // leaving

im searching deep inside to figure out why i dont feel excited for this amazing trip that i leave on with my family in less than 2 days. instead im full of emotion, sitting here at my work desk wanting to cry. it isnt as if my job is terribly fun, or that i dont want to travel (i do i do i do!). i guess i have this heavy cloud of  "where are my gainz going to be when i return?" and fear that someone (who will remain nameless) is gonna forget me.
the gainz part of my worry seems silly. but that is something so important to me, and i have worked incredibly hard this year to make the progress that ive made. i dont want to it be thrown out the window because of a 7 week trip. especially since i have put in a lot of work to reach my bench press goal of 135 lbs. i dont want to lose all my strength to a trip. (rip kaydee's gainz).

im going to miss my friends.

i know when im in the car, ill be excited, but right now i cant get past the sad part.

its only seven weeks! i keep telling myself. it will fly so quickly, ill be home before i know it.

embrace the change, the adventure. take it in completely, and worry about everything else when the big adventure ends. 

 

ill write all about the trip (i hope). and i have an adventure along with a september playlist coming, as soon as i find the time to finish them. for now, im gonna think about packing and work on getting excited.